A few weeks ago, I started thinking about how people like to judge other people just by watching them or even only by hearing or ASSUMING things about them. It’s the story of my life as an introvert … I cannot tell you how often people said or thought that I was arrogant, sure of myself, unapproachable, and “out of their league (men),” because I am usually not a person who walks up to others and starts small talk. Truth is, I don’t particularly like small talk, I don’t like to be in the center of attention, and I hate to “bug” people, so I prefer to be and stay in my head most of the time 😉
You’ve probably heard the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover,”
well, I would also add to not judge it by its foreword or introduction part either.
There are so many reasons why people come off the way they do, act the way they do, or “fake” their way through the day. It’s all shaped by former experience, feelings, sensitive spots, avoidance, or even trauma.
One of the things I’ve learned for sure over the past years is that we all have our own battles to fight, feel insecure or have doubts about ourselves or past decisions. One of the “disadvantages” of studying psychology and counseling is that you can’t help yourself but develop empathy for everyone. It’s been a major change in my life and stage of mind since I put myself in other people’s shoes and their situations. Rather helping them find grip on their rocky path again instead of putting even more stones in front of them to make them stumble even more.
Perception is a funny and interesting thing … if we’d all realize that what I see and feel at this moment is NOT what YOU see and feel at this moment, then the world would have a little more empathetic and tolerant people. It’s so easy to judge others and say “I would NEVER do this,” until you are in a similar situation. Before we judge others, we should really make sure that we are perfect..and if you’ve read my articles then you know what I think about perfectionism. It’s “an utopian myth and has no existence”, just like Rudolf Dreikurs once stated. So why do people judge or offend/insult others?
I wrote about perception and dealing with conflicts a few weeks ago. This article will be posted soon. I am excited for you to read it and hear your thoughts on this too.
Until then, stay happy. Be yourself, be proud of who you are, and embrace everything about you. Particularly your little flaws because they make you YOU 🙂
I think I can totally relate to what you are talking about. I am also in my head all the time, usually I don’t start the conversation with a stranger( but once we connect we have quality conversation) ,I observed a lot and talk less.I am doing psychology major in DSU and I feel like I am really interested in people’s behavior and the way to help them through difficult times. I have read all your articles and find them fascinating.
Thank you for your feedback Santosh! I’m happy to hear that! I observe a lot as well; human behavior surely is very informative and insightful if you take a closer look at yourself and others. Keep it up! 🙂