The Positive Side of Breaking Up

This article got published on MyYoga Online. Find it >>> HERE <<<

Do you know what it’s like to feel deeply hurt, sad, discouraged and maybe even angry (all together) as a result of a relationship breakup? If so, you’ve probably experienced one of the biggest pains human beings can feel: heartache. But you know what? There are actually many positive things you can learn from a relationship breakup. You were in love. You are able to love, to trust and to open up to someone. Most importantly, this means that you’ve tried for something. Sure, you could stay on your couch and avoid meeting people or falling in love, but what would you gain from this?

Here are six ways to see your breakup in a positive light:

1. You’ve Proven That You Have Faith

As Oscar Wilde once said “expectation is the root of all heartache.”

Is it really? I think it’s not only expectation, but also hope. Hope might be the real root of all heartache, more than expectation. Think about it: how do we create expectation? We create it with our hopeful thoughts that something might or will happen, sometimes even against all odds, and we make ourselves believe that this is something we can simply expect from someone. Now, does that mean we should stop hoping and having faith? No, not at all. Hope and positive thinking are the best tools you can use when it comes to dealing with any kind of struggle, with unkind people and with those lonely moments. It has helped me to see lost relationships as blessings and to recognize the teachers that have actually led me to exactly where I am today. Most importantly, these experiences have made me the person I am today. So don’t lose hope. Pick yourself up and put yourself out there again.

2. It Puts you Back In Touch with Yourself

Now it’s your chance to finally start listening to yourself again. Oftentimes, a breakup forces us to rearrange our everyday lives, to change our routines and to reconsider our needs. What do you really need? What is it that makes you happy? Too often people lose themselves in a relationship. You see this when the “I” turns into a “we,” and starts to rule conversations. It is considered romantic, even desirable, for some people, but isn’t this actually dangerous? It creates distance and gets you out of touch with the greatness and uniqueness of you and the person “you” are. So, maybe now it’s time to ask yourself again: Who am I? What do I like? What daily routine do I like to have? What foods do I like to eat? What color walls or furniture do I want? Get out, meet up with your friends and have fun.

Another great way to declutter your mind is to clean up your drawers and closets. Get rid of things you don’t need anymore. This will not only clean your apartment, it will also clean your mind.

3. It Gives You a Great Reason to Start Something New

I am not sure if I believe in timing and the existence of  the right circumstances, but I do believe in purpose. There is a reason why things happen the way they do; why people come and go or stay in our lives. Maybe you’ve always wanted to try Zumba, or always wanted to learn to play an instrument, or learn another language? Or perhaps you’ve wanted to start a salsa dancing class but your ex-partner never wanted to join you? Well, the time is now! See your breakup as a blessing; a chance to break free from something that held you back from reaching your full potential. Who knows who you might meet along the road. Perhaps even in that dancing class? Remember the law of attraction: positive thoughts will attract and create positive results.

4. You Start Realizing What’s Really Important

It enables you to put things into perspective. It also helps you to know what you don’t want in a relationship. Imagine everything has always been great (at least you thought it was), and now you’re left with a big question mark about what went wrong. See it in this way: now you know where to improve and what you’re willing to compromise. You also now know what you don’t want and don’t want to sacrifice. What helped me was to write it down. I set goals for myself: things that I’d like to achieve in my next relationship. What are you looking for in your next partner? Knowing what you want will make it a lot easier to stick to your needs and will prevent you from kissing a lot more frogs before you find your real prince.

5. It Gives you Inner Peace

Love shouldn’t make you feel anxious or worried; however, a little jealousy is probably something we’ve all felt before. A breakup doesn’t happen overnight. It is a process that takes place over time that is really hurtful and causes a lot of drama and distraction. Now, see this for what it is: no more drama in your life. You are free again! All you need to do is forgive yourself and give yourself permission to actually be free and in peace with yourself and others. When it comes to love, or life in general, most of us settle for less or stay in situations/relationships because we don’t think we deserve (or will find) something better. I’ve been single for quite a while and it’s not because I don’t meet people. I simply don’t let myself have less than I think I deserved. It’s about self-respect and knowing yourself and your needs. Know and understand what makes you happy.

6. You are Going on a New Journey of Self-Discovery

A breakup is usually complex and forces change, whether we want it to or not. This could be in the form of moving out into a new place, or needing to find a new circle of friends. Sure, this is tough; however, you have to think of it as a new start, a new beginning and a clean slate. Think of it like you are were moving to a whole different country where you don’t know a lot of people. Meet the friends of your closest friends, or meet new people through activities and hobbies. Never forget to love yourself first and to walk away as soon it doesn’t feel right. Remind yourself that love is supposed to feel good. Love should make you happy and not angry, scared, worried or sad.

Show yourself some self-respect and leave this painful situation behind you.

You are writing your story in every moment. Fate spins its threads every minute, so although you might not see or understand why you are being left, why you got treated this way, or why those things are happening to you, you will see and understand it when the time has come. Until then, please don’t stop believing.

Hold on, it will all get better eventually. You just have to get there, and you will.

>>> Find it here on MyYoga Online. <<<

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